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What is Tantric Sex? A Guide to Reach Tantra in Ten Steps

Discover the keys of this oriental tradition, Tantric sex, that connects the cosmos with the divinity through sex

Man unbuckling belt
What is Tantric Sex? A Guide to Reach Tantra in Ten Steps | iSTOCK

Historically, religious doctrines have forgotten or repressed sexuality, so that men and women have separately lived mysticism and sex. However, Tantra, a tradition of Indian origin, is a guide to achieving sexual pleasure through spiritual elevation. Let's learn better what tantric sex is and what benefits it can bring.


What is Tantric sex?

First of all, we must demystify the oriental conception of Tantric sex: it isn't a technique to delay ejaculation and prolong the sexual act. Or it is, but it's not only that. In fact, that is just a consequence of the general spirit of the Tantric doctrine, which in reality is a conception of love through permanent eroticism.

So, we can live tantra sexuality both inside and outside the sexual act. And therefore, orgasm is just one of the expressions of pleasure.

The sexual intercourse is for this millenary tradition a sacred ritual for which a series of routines, positions, and "tricks" are established to elevate sexual pleasure to the mystical transcendence of the body. In that ceremony, carnal contact is only one of the elements of the process, which, as a whole, is a space for meditation and energy transformation.

What for profane sex is sexual discharge in a divided nucleus between men and women performing a limited act in which energy goes from more to less until exhausted, in Tantric sex, an energetic feedback of a man-woman fusion in the act is unlimited because the desire goes from less to more and the energy is in a cycle of permanent renewal.

To understand precisely what Tantric sex is, you have to internalize two ideas. The first one, that the body is the tempo of the divinity that represents the union between the god Shakty (Man) and the goddess Shiva (Woman) through which sex is the first step in the spiritual uplift to connect the cosmos with the divine. The second, that the sexual act (Maithuna) is a long process in which  penetration and male or female ejaculation aren't the main objectives, but the erotic coexistence between the two lovers through caresses, kisses, words, smells, food, and drink.

10 keys to achieve pleasure in Tantric sex

As you have seen, Tantra has as much complexity as you want to give it. But here we will summarize in 10 points the basic tips to get you started in this mystical practice of intercourse.

1. Locate the chakras or energy channels

The function of Tantric sex is to raise the energy of the lower chakras to the higher ones in order to attain spirituality.  The chakras are seven energy points aligned in the central channel vertically. The first (survival) is lodged between the anus and the genitals; the second (eroticism) is in the coccyx; the third (will) is between the navel and the chest; the fourth (spirit) is in the center of the chest; the fifth (communication) is in the throat; the sixth (logic) is in the forehead and it is called "the third eye"; and the seventh is outside the body above the crown and represents the end of the journey when the spiritual Self has been reached.

2. The importance of the erotic massage

The function of the massage is to unlock the energies and connect the chakra between them. Doing them is a ritual. The active member must first purify its mind through tantra meditation and concentrate on transmitting as much energy as possible. Its function is not to massage the muscles but to attract and activate energies, which is why the position of the hands is essential. There are four: percussion, with the hand extended, pressing with a finger, and stretching. It starts at the back, goes to the front, and ends in the face, alternating the four positions of the hands.

3. The food of love

To increase passion, it's essential to use aphrodisiac foods, infusions, drugs, and alcoholic drinks: it is the way to awaken the senses. Foods such as apple, celery, garlic, cinnamon, curry, chocolate, figs, seafood, mint, honey, pepper, tomato; infusions such as ginseng; alcoholic drinks such as wine that dilate blood vessels. There is a whole recipe book for Tantra, and there is no manual on how and when to ingest, and you can even play by spreading the food on the body. Equally important is body hygiene, perfumes, and aromatizing the space with natural incense.

4. Tantric dance as a ritual

They are used to discharge bad energies and enhance desire and can be performed during sexual intercourse or before Tantric sex. The dance lasts around half an hour, with relaxing tantric music, and it's preferable to perform it naked. There are several positions as face to face with the hands together, then extend the arms holding each other, inhale and exhale with the mouths close together, shaking hands back to back, or face to face very close, then with the woman going down to the genital area or the man stroking her breasts.

5. The erogenous zones

The Tantric doctrine revealed much earlier than Western culture the existence of body areas most sensitive to touch. In Tantric sex, they are ideal for a first erotic-sexual contact before penetration and orgasm. Some of the most remarkable for him are between the penis and the anus, the testicles, the glans, the neck, the chest, the ears, the eyelids... and for her, the nipples, the lobe of the ears, the neck, the inside of the thighs, the navel, the anus...

6. Fluids and odors

Throughout the process of the Tantric ceremony, both the bodies release fluids that Tantra considers sacred. Lubrication has more importance in Tantric sex than what it is believed because it keeps the genital areas in constant preparation for the Maithuna or sexual intercourse. The long duration of this requires constant lubrication. Playing with the flavors and smells of those fluids complements the Tantric ritual.

7. Kisses and oral sex

The kiss is the direct channel between the two bodies, in some way the direct transfer from one to the other for its fusion. It is important that the lovers dedicate themselves to experiment with kisses, in the mouth and other parts of the body, without any haste. In the original Tantra, five different kisses were noticed: blows, bite of love, kiss with tongue, suction and lip kiss. There are many variations that Kamasutra itself explains, but the culmination is oral sex. A good cunnilingus or fellatio are very effective ways to achieve pleasure.

8. Caresses

At this point, we have to remember that we aren't dealing with a manual of profane sex and that unlike this one, Tantric sex isn't seen as a path of excitement with the ultimate goal of ejaculating, for example, massage-oral sex-penetration-ejaculation. For that reason between one step and another, we can intersperse, as we have already seen, food and drinks, smells, dances... And also caresses! Tantra gives much importance to that way of connecting and divides them in two. The static pressure is pressure in an erogenous zone (for example the glans) during a certain time and without movements. The dynamic pressure is moving hands and fingers without stopping.

9. Penetration

We have said that penetration isn't the ultimate goal of Tantric sex, but a way to connect energies and give and receive pleasure. Thus, penetration according to the Western parameters (mechanical movements of entry and exit) has no function in the purest Tantric sex. Penetration must develop with unequal movements in time, angulation and depth so that it becomes a harmonious and surprising journey for both. Tantra has developed a tantric sex positions manual, similar to the Kamasutra, very useful for this phase of the Maithuna.

10. The orgasm

Like the rest of fluids, semen is a sacred liquid that Tantra contemplates as the end of bodily desire, and for that reason one of the objectives of its doctrine is to delay that ejaculation to the maximum. For this purpose it includes a series of techniques such as contracting the lower abdomen, compressing the prostate (pressing with two fingers between the anus and the upper part of the testicular bags) or pulling the testicular bag (the scrotum) with quick, dry movements. But the most important thing is always to maintain a slow and meditative rhythm in Tantric sex and not of explosive desire as in profane sex.

What benefits does Tantric sex provide?

In conclusion, we will say that Tantric sex is a door to the experimentation of sexuality from a spiritual perspective that unites in an exceptional way body, mind, and soul. If we think about it coldly, it is about valuing Love and wrapping it in a spiritual mantle that connects the universe with the divine through the most sacred act of union between two people who love each other: sex.

Through Tantric sex you can get to know your partner better, enter a much broader plane of connection and interpret pleasure together with other connotations. It isn't easy, and the first sessions can be a bit chaotic and disappointing. But as Tantra itself preaches in its philosophical base, it's a process towards perfection whose ultimate goal isn't orgasm or ejaculation, but the importance of traveling that path together and finding a productive experience of personal and marital growth.

Among other benefits, in addition, there is the relaxation of the body, the balance of the mind, the improvement of breathing, the strengthening of muscles, the activation of organs and sensory mechanisms, and a long etcetera. Don't doubt about it, just try it.